Your life is a 10

"On a rate of 1-10, how happy are you?" 

My friend Ashley asked while nibbling on her pinky fingernail.

I laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Like rate your happiness level from 1-10, your satisfaction level in general."

"Ten. What about you?"

"Seven," She said. 

"Why?" 

"Hmm well, I don't know," she said as she spat her nail out of her mouth; her freckles sparkled in the sun, they looked like specks of dust, rosy and pale. 

That night I lay in my bed and thought a lot about the question Ashley had asked me. I thought even more about her response. 

Seven. 

Why. I mean, I understand, but it kind of bothered me. A little. To be honest. 

Sure, I've struggled and I still don't have everything that I need or everything that I want. Some days, I'm an emotional mess and have no clue what I'm doing with my life. I'm far from perfect and I'm so, very unstable. 

I usually just close my eyes and take the leap. 

Yet, I chose a ten. 

Why a ten, isn't that the "perfect" life, some people might be thinking. 

And my answer is: yes. A ten. Because it's my perfect life and I'm honestly so grateful for the ups and the downs. 

I've honestly struggled a lot, I've been through a lot, and I've seen a lot. I chose a ten because life isn't perfect, but you sure as hell can decide what kind of person you want all of the experiences that you've faced to carve you into; you sure as hell can decide what kind of life you want to live, despite all of the surprises and spontaneity that it has to offer. 

Happiness is a choice. If you rate your life a seven, a one, a two, or a ten; then that's what it's going to be. It's all in your head, your brain is a pretty powerful organ and believe me when I say that your mindset has a HUGE impact on your life overall.

I chose a ten because I want my life to be a ten; as a matter of fact, my life is a ten, to me. 

I love my family. 

I love my friends. 

I love every single experience that I've been through, good and bad. 

I have food available to me at all times. 

I have air conditioner. 

I have a roof over my head. 

And I'm healthy. 

What else could a person want?! There are so much people in the world who WISH, absolutely wish, that they had half of the stuff that you have. Half. 

There are families whose parents and children are dying of starvation or war. There are little orphans who are sold and abused. 

Sure, you have struggles, but everyone does. Life was made for you to struggle, but also for you to enjoy and for you to be grateful for all of the good that it has to offer as well.

I don't know, but I feel like not rating my overall life a ten or asking for more would be pretty selfish (of me). 

Take a deep breath in, cuddle on your favorite couch, and list all of the things that you're grateful for in life. 

Hopefully you'd answer with a ten as well.

It's all about perception and your mindset. 

Your life is a ten if you want it to be a ten. 

Wretched

So much hate, bickering, and anger. I don't understand. I don't understand why we let the people closest to our hearts down, why we fight, and why we don't forgive. Human beings are constantly at war with one another- pointing fingers and bullets toward one another, yelling and screaming. I don't understand why some hearts are so black, how some hearts can tune one out so easily. 

How some hearts can allow one thing to destroy a relationship that took years to build, into crumbles.

I don't understand why people can't go above and beyond for the people whom they love- has your ego gotten that important? Has your pride taken over your heart? 

Will you shoot and retrieve bullets until the day that that person is no longer and until the day where you'll be forced to mourn at their graves? 

I don't understand why people toss the word "love" around and then hate so much when the person that they "love" makes a mistake- does one mistake wipe out everything good that that persons ever done to you? 

War. Humans are always at war. And too often, we forget how much someone means to us until they are no longer. 

Too often do we not realize how much our ego and our pride have taken over us until we are miserable and alone. 

Will you try to sing someone's name once they are long gone?

 I don't see love, symphony, and peace. I see black hearts stabbing one another; I see black hearts thriving off of drama.

 I see black hearts growing more and more rotten. 

"Me" everyone seems to say. Me. Me. Me. It's become such a self-centered world where everyone is so "me" driven. When will we truly love and respect eachother. When will we truly look past people's mistakes and study our own hearts. When will human beings stop pointing fingers; when will human beings stop bickering. Why have we developed into such self-centered monsters.

 Why so much hate and toxicity, enough to destroy the world. 

Don't wait until it's too late; don't wait until the person whom you're bickering with is long gone. 

Don't wait until your heart completely rots. Look within yourself and purify your heart. Cleanse it. And forgive, even if you have been treated wrongfully, because I promise you that that person's heart whom you're dealing with is probably wretched too. 

Mother

Mother. Mother. Mother. The word "mother" is such a precious term and holds a unique meaning in each and every one of our hearts. 

My mother is probably one of the best things that I'll ever, ever know. Ever. My mother is the most caring, loving, and selfless person; yet, I yell at her. I tell her to shut up, and I roll my eyes at her, not realizing how much my actions cause her heartache. 

My mother stays up all night with me when I'm sick and sacrifices her bed for me. 

My mother makes me food when I'm hungry and forces me to drink fresh smoothies made out of vegetables and fruit. 

My mother makes sure that I'm happy and have everything that I need. 

Yet, I tell her that she talks too much and yell that she never lets me do anything. Yet, I mimic her and yell back at her when she's angry. 

Yet, I throw a fit when she asks me to wash the dishes. And I know it breaks her heart. 

My mother is an Angel, an angel who sacrifices EVERYTHING for my siblings and I. Our happiness is literally hers. 

Oh mother, I love you so much. I wish I could be half of the woman in which you are today mother. 

No words could ever express my appreciation toward you mother. 

No action of mine could ever repay all of the heartache, hardships, and sacrifices you've been through because of me. 

Oh mother, I wish I could go back and bite my tongue when speaking to you. oh mother, I wish I could go back in time and obey every one of your commands because even then, it wouldn't be enough. 

Giving you the entire world wouldn't be enough, mother. 

I notice your hairs greying mother. And that you're developing fine lines mother. I realize that you're growing older as i'm blossoming into a young adult,mother.

For a second, I panic. I panic because I want you by my side forever mother; I never want to lose you. I panic because I'd be lost without you. I panic because I want to give you everything that you deserve and more, mother. 

I panic because I love you, mother. 

And I panic because if I could, I would choose to grow old before you, mother. Or with you. But, certainly not after you. 

My mother is the best thing that I'll ever, ever know. And I bet yours is too.