Numb

At one point, nothing disappoints you anymore. You've become numb to it, you've seen it all. You've seen the worst of the worst, lovers cheating and lying, friends backstabbing each other, people committing suicide because of the filth that this world is full of. So many judgements, stereotypes, racism, and hatred. You've seen people drink their sorrows away and you've seen people smoke to forget. You've seen bloodshed, abuse, and darkness. You've seen the devil himself, disguised as certain individuals. Nothing matters. You know it all. You've seen it all and all you can do is to survive through it all, like all of us. All you can do is live day by day, try to make something of yourself, before your death bed ultimately greets you. Sometimes, the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning. You know it all. You've seen it. And you're numb. You're a survivor, just like everyone else. And everyone else has a story, just like you so try and spread love despite the nastiness and filth that this world has in it. Spread the love despite your teary eyes and wretched heart. Because if you spread the love, then the next person will and one by one, we can prove that the world maybe isn't as filthy as it seems. And together, we can help the numbness disperse into joy and a bit of brightness. 

Home

Home is where the heart is, they say. 

But I don't understand anything because I can't quite locate where my heart is. Ever since I've been growing up, my heart has been grappled and toyed with. Whispers have gone through my ears, trying to differentiate right from wrong to me, trying to define everything for me. I feel like my heart has been stepped on many times, and not just in a romantic manner, but as to where it is, as to where home is. What is home? For a while, I believed everything that I was told, but nothing makes sense anymore. Everything seems strange and unfamiliar. An emptiness lurks within me, something is missing and I must find it. I must find what home is to me and where my heart is. This roof over my head doesn't quite feel like home, even though I am comfortable and love everyone, but then again; what does home feel like? What is home? I want to detach myself from everything I've ever been told; I want to experience and start piecing the puzzle on my own. I want to find out where my heart is and what exactly, where exactly home is. I need to know. I must know. I won't give up until I do know.